Everyone should know, at least once in his/her life, what it feels like to be a priority... or someone else's 'first choice' if you will. I know what it feels like. And I also know what it feels like to make someone else feel like he/she is a 'first choice' too. But...
Confession #1: I don't know what that feels like in the romantic sense- neither as the instigator nor otherwise.
I know what it feels like to be someone else's '#1' in the platonic & familial sense, but... not in any other sense. The same goes for making someone else feel like he/she is my '#1': romantic activity, lacking.
I've been in "relationships" (the degree of seriousness to which this word may be applied, in my life, in any attempts of this, may be shrewdly observed through the usage of quotation marks in this reference), but none of which have ever left me feeling satisfied. There was always something missing, be it emotional closeness, or physical passion, or a certain mix of both...
Suffice it to say, I am still unsatisfied. I am a generally happy girl, but I am unsatisfied. I am patient (sort of), but I am unsatisfied. I know what it feels like to be someone's (everyone's) second choice, but not what it feels like to be (the ever elusive) '#1'. I don't think I will enter into another relationship again until I am made to feel like I am his '#1'... I don't think it's a matter of ego; more possession than anything else. I guess this explains why the fortune teller said I probably wouldn't marry until I was around 30-years old...
